Cyber-Stalking and Safety on the Internet

Aug 24, 2011
Jo Harrington

Image: Internet Safety in Gaming - Jo Harrington

It's never the full biographies, but the drip-drip of information that compromises safety online. Awareness can keep kids safe before cyber-stalking starts.

As children, most of us were taught not to talk to strangers. For today's parents, the Age of Technology has brought with it some unique challenges about ensuring their child's internet safety. For a large part, their generation's socialisation takes place online, where talking to strangers is both inevitable and encouraged. All of this often occurs in a language that can appear unfathomable to their parents.

Horizons are broadened, with real time exposure to people living across the world, in other cultures, with other religions, speaking in other languages. The internet really is the great social leveller, with individuals from all walks of life interacting as equals. Pixel and forum friendships are formed between people hiding in anonymity behind a computer screen. But consolidating that bond often means trading personal information. This can be both a blessing and a curse, as parents grapple with their off-spring's twin needs to network and to be safe online.

Safety Awareness Online: The Drip-drip of Personal Information.

As an adult gamer in an on-line environment which also attracts a lot of kids, it can sometimes feel like I'm a cyber-mother, standing in as proxy for unobservant real life parents. As I maneuver my avatar through the game, I am also participating in a text-based clan chat with adults and children alike. At the barest sniff of a personally identifying comment, there is a chorus from all of the members, "*cough* Personal information! *cough*" Laughter follows. It's an easy slip to make, especially when the stresses of life are piling up. But this clan is committed to safety on the internet.

It wasn't always so. It took a wake up call, widely publicised at the time in clan chat and blogs, for the message to sink in. For months, I had watched with disquiet the drip-drip of information from those who thought they were safely anonymous behind their avatars.

"Woot! My local team just scored in the FA Cup!" One might joyously scream, thus indirectly telling us the location of his hometown. "No, you're wrong, it's not illegal. I just asked my Mum and she knows because she's a lawyer." Commented another, letting us know the occupation of one of his parents. "Hi everyone, it's my 14th birthday today!" Another player might announced, informing us of her date of birth. Often worst of all were the conversations between those who genuinely knew each other. "Please stop calling him Harry." "But he's my real life friend! It's stupid calling him by his game name!"

Cyber-stalking a Sixteen Year Old in Just Five Minutes.

With all of my warnings going unheeded, it was time to take drastic action. I hadn't taken notes, but I had a good memory. I chose, more or less at random, a young player who had been a member of the clan for a couple of years. Despite months of feeding us snippets of personal information, he still appeared convinced that he remained anonymous.

I set a timer, giving myself just five minutes, while I searched the internet for information that matched all I knew about him. As the alarm went off, I sat stunned, staring in horror at my notepad. I had his photograph, his full address, the names and occupations of both parents, his date of birth and the address of his school. I could have driven for an hour or two and arrived at his gate, introducing myself as his trusted online friend.

In many ways, he was lucky. I privately gave him the information and the 'paper' trail, so he could remove it. This incident helped hammer home the message about online safety for my clan members.

Over-Protectiveness, Paranoia or Real Internet Danger?

The vast majority of people, whom we meet online, will be genuinely trustworthy, nice individuals. As with any other cross-section of society, there will be the good, the bad and the downright ugly. There have been a lot of well documented cases where the apparent internet friend turned out to be a predator. A couple of recent examples illustrate the danger.

In 2009, seventeen year old Ashleigh Hall believed that she was meeting a teenage boy, with whom she had enjoyed a long friendship on Facebook. He told her that he had arranged for his Dad to pick her up from near her home, so she wasn't alarmed when an older man pulled up. Unfortunately, Peter Chapman had been masquerading as a teen, in order to lure her into this very scenario. She was taken to Thorpe Larches, near Sedgefield, in Teeside, where she was beaten and raped. The tape around her mouth slowly suffocated her and her body was dumped by the side of the road. He was sentenced to 35 years imprisonment, in March last year.

While Chapman was being tried in Britain, another case was grabbing headlines in Oklahoma City, USA. Annamay Alexander was a married, mother of three, in Deltona, Florida, when she began an internet friendship with a fourteen year old Oklahoma boy. She had met him in the chat of a Sony PlayStation 3 game. After he gave her his address, she first bought a mobile 'phone, which she posted to him. Then she texted sexually explicit messages to him. Finally, she drove 1,250 miles to meet him. Fortunately, he took her home, where his mother realised what was going on. In February 2011, Alexander was sentenced to seven years imprisonment.

How Can Parents Advise Their Kids on Internet Safety?

Sometimes it really is a matter of life and death to have a discussion with your kids about how to keep safe online. I tell those in my clan chat that if it isn't happening in game, then it's not happening at all. Their lives are their character's lives and they should politely decline to answer any question designed to probe what's outside the computer screen. Then the fun and networking can go on, without a drip-drip of personal information leading to cyber-stalkers and real life tragedy.